Saturday, July 9, 2016

You can.

I know you feel desperate and worthless, but it's just for tonight.

I know everything seems hopeless, but eventually it might get better.

People are silent and you are unbelievably lonely, but the way you feel right now isn't everything. You've made it through worse nights.

Last year was awful, this year is somewhat better. I know that makes you think that things will never be as good as you hope, but maybe they will get a little better again over the course of the next year. And the one after that, and the one after that.

I know there aren't many people around to talk to, and you're too scared to even text one of those helplines because you're shy and you hate to be a burden and you don't know what to say, but you have had some good conversations in recent weeks, and you have more friends than six months ago when there was almost nobody.

I know you feel sad and rejection stings and hits you in a place that can never seem to heal properly, but I know you can overcome it too. Don't let the feelings take over you, because they're not everything. They're just feelings, and they will pass. And come back. And leave again. And come back. But stick around a while longer to see what else happens because you owe it to yourself.

Remember how you used to dream about what you would be when you grew up? That little girl deserves to see her life lived out and dreams accomplished. She always wanted to write, and here you are, writing. It doesn't matter if it's not read nationwide; that wasn't her dream. Her dream was to write from the heart because it was what she loved. And you are. Stick around and keep writing - for her. Finish that book because publishing one has always been on your must-do list. And because your 20 year-old self deserves for vengeance to be paid on the man who broke her heart so bad.

Remember the precious objects you've damaged in fits of anger or sadness? Don't you wish you had left them alone? Don't let a night's emotions get the best of you and rob you of things even more precious.

I know tonight isn't easy, and neither was last night or the night before, but you deserve to have a chance because no one else ever gives you one.

Remember the people who have given you chances? The internship that one summer you got to be happy before everything fell apart? The song you got to record in the midst of countless rejections? Remember the pride and joy you felt and the way you amazed people with the quality of your character and work? You owe it to yourself to do that again. Don't hate it when people don't believe in you, when people give up on you, so don't be one of those people that does.

You can make it through another tough night.

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