Thursday, June 16, 2016

Memory Lane

A couple days ago, I shared some old song lyrics/poetry I wrote a year and a half ago. I found some more lyrics from a couple months ago that I thought might be worth sharing. They were written after I had been doing some reminiscing and reading old diaries and capture some of the process of grieving and moving on in one's recovery.

Memory lane
Such beauty
Such bittersweet pain
Count my crosses
Mourn my losses
Shed a few tears
Over lost and lonely years

Ashes and ashes
Dust and dust
Let my tears fall
Turn these gold pages to rust
As long as someone remembers
Where I've been
That long September
Spent praying they'd let me in

Just walking down
Memory lane
Just turning pages that bring back the pain
Thinking of how he never kissed me
Wondering does he ever miss me
Or am I just a memory now
Some odd lovestruck girl for him to laugh about

Memory lane
So much pain
I'd shut out
Till I came to doubt
It ever happened
Now the scenes flow like rapids
I was so down and out
But look at me now
I'm more than memories

I put away these old pictures
Till next time I peruse
It's good to look back
But I could really use
Some new memories
- R.G.

The ending's kind of corny but I thought it did capture a bit of the experience of recalling your past while you're on the way to recovery. I've found that there is a lot of pain that I sequestered to some dark part of my memory and sometimes it seems right to take those old memories back out and remind yourself that you really did struggle, it wasn't just an event you made up or blew up in your head. My old self deserves to be recognized for what she endured so bravely.

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Read other poetry I've written about tough times.

Listen to my music.

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