Saturday, May 28, 2016

Too much and not enough

I feel so overwhelmed with all that I need to do in the coming year. I don't want to live a life of stress and constant busyness, but I feel like I need to. But thinking of all I have to do makes my chest tight, my mind feel compressed and suffocated. Why am I doing this to myself? I know it's not good for me.

I feel lonely. My friends are either out of the picture or people who are only occasionally available to talk. I tried texting a couple people about how I've been feeling, but didn't get a reply. Most of the time, I don't care if I'm alone. But sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have that attitude and I need to make friends. But they always just seem to disappoint you. I don't think I can ever find a real friend.

I feel inadequate. Not accomplished enough. Not attractive enough to gain anyone's attention. Not talented or popular enough to make any of my efforts at accomplishing things pay off.

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